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Social Cues: A conversation with my brother


Scene: Annika Wall, a 20-year old college student on break, is laying down on her family’s couch in the living room. Luke Wall, an 18-year-old high school junior with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), is pacing in the adjacent dining room. Annika is wearing a hooded sweatshirt and sweatpants with her eyes shut, trying to nap.


*LUKE ENTERS LIVING ROOM*


LUKE: “Hi Annika."


ANNIKA: "Luke, I'm busy."


LUKE: "No you are not."


ANNIKA: (groans, rolls over on couch)


*END SCENE*



This is a typical conversation between myself and my brother. I had a long day and was trying to get a quick nap in. However, due to Luke’s ASD, he doesn’t always realize that people don’t want to talk to him. 


Social communication is a big part of an ASD diagnosis. This can include challenges with grammar, pronouns and the general ability to hold a conversationaccording to spectrumnews.org. Luke specifically has issues with pragmatics, or the appropriate use of language in a social situation. 


While Luke does not need speech therapy for the pronunciation of words anymore, he does continue to go to learn how to be interested (or at least act interested) in the other person. Luke and other people with ASD typically get fixated on one topic.


Some of Luke’s include cows, death by obesity and IZ (aka, the singer who covered "Somewhere Over the Rainbow). They can find it difficult to talk about anything other than what they’re interested in. 

Because of this, Luke and I struggle to hold conversations. As shown in the scene above (which is a common occurrence in our house, believe me), Luke didn’t realize that my body language implied that I did not want to hold a conversation. However, I also have to be more open and realize that it is difficult for him to hold a conversation in something he does not want to talk about. 


Autism is about learning and growing, and that’s what Luke and I have done for the past 18 years. Next time you see someone with autism, don’t get frustrated when it looks like they’re being “rude” or “awkward;” just be happy you’re having a conversation with them.

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